This week I told my husband I wanted to send him a picture because I look pretty. He said that was the first time that he had heard me give myself a compliment since we started dating in 2016. He was so happy! And it made me extra happy. So in honor of that moment I am sharing a picture where the wind is making my shirt hug my soft belly that I am learning to love.
I’ve had people tell me I am beautiful. I’ve had people tell me I’m ugly. I’ve had people encourage me to lose weight. I have had people make me eat because they are afraid I am depriving myself. I’ve had people tell me they wish they had a body like mine. I’ve heard people fat shame others who are much thinner than me.
For some reason, I only took the negative comments as facts. I never let myself believe that I was truly beautiful. If I did feel pretty it was due to make-up or significant weight loss.
Over the past couple of years I have slowly but surely taken a number of small steps to learn self love. I have found that learning to love myself has come down to training my mind to:
- Stop judging those around me based on the way they look.
- Make my mental health a greater priority.
- Stop making what others think about me a priority at all.
- Find beautiful qualities in others and magnify them.
- Find those same beautiful qualities in myself.
It seems funny to oversimplify these things. But it is really important for me to look back on all of the progress that I have made. It is still more often than I would like that I crumble in self-pity and self-hate. Those small failures are an important part of change, but they do not define me. It is focusing on the small successes and steps I have taken that have helped me to move forward. I am feeling more confident in my body, more love for others, and more beauty in my life than ever before. I can recognize the positive changes in my life and I never want to look back.
In the next few weeks I plan to write more on how I’ve made some of these changes, so stay tuned and feel free to give me any of your thoughts/suggestions/positive vibes. I love talking about these things and learning from others.