Eating for Me

I have had an unhealthy relationship with food for over half of my life now. I starve myself. I’m an emotional eater. I binge. I’ve tried diets of all kinds since middle school. I’ve forced myself to exercise without eating even when I know my body can’t handle it. I would go to the scale before and after meals. I let my weight determine my beauty and value.

I consider it extremely important to treat our bodies with respect and care, but that has never been my true motivation for eating healthy. Eating healthy was a way to lose weight, to be pretty, to be socially acceptable, and to find love. It turns out that none of those things really worked and I treated my body and mind with even less care than when I was not focused on dieting.

This image I found on IG @thewellful almost perfectly describes my mental struggle/unhealthy relationship with food. Reading these steps in the cycle makes me realize how flawed my attitude towards eating has been. Why is it that I have made my life miserable over food?

At this time in my life I weigh more than I ever have. When I look back, I realize I never loved my body no matter how skinny I was. I was never good enough. So instead of making a resolution to lose weight this year, I have chosen to improve my relationship with food. That doesn’t mean a brand new diet, but a brand new perspective.

I want to eat ice cream if I really want it. I will eat with friends and family and not feel guilty if I overeat. But I will work on making adjustments with my eating habits according to how I feel mentally and physically.

The truth is that I love food. I love trying new dishes and eating dessert every day. I also love fresh foods, seafood, colorful plates, and salads. Food is one of the great joys in life and I plan to take advantage of all the great bites I encounter this year.


I started writing this at the beginning of the year and I can already see a big difference in the way that I feel about food. Along with that, my stomach feels better, I have more energy, I feel more comfortable in my body, and I feel excited to eat and cook. I haven’t been skipping meals for the purpose of losing weight and I order the food that I really want.

People that read this may think that it is unwise to be so careless with the way that I eat. But the truth I do not feel that way at all! I will continue to adjust my eating habits as I learn what is best for me. I want to treat my life and body with respect and love and I think food is a good place to start.


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